I’m a senior in high school, taking academically demanding courses. I overchallenge myself because I have to “keep up” with my other peers in the top like 6% of my grade. I do so because I need to get into a good medical/veterinary college. I need to get into a good college because I need a good medical/veterinary job. I need a good job so I can spend the rest of my life working to pay back college costs while at the same time being perfect in all that I do, to avoid lawsuits/malpractice/complaints/whatever. But I can’t ultimately be perfect so I’ll just be stressing out worrying about messing up. I’m so tired of being pressured to succeed. I just missed 4 days of critical school time recovering from having my wisdom teeth out. I have about a month and a week to get my grades magically caught up to what they used to be, AND apply to numerous colleges. Or else the next 8 years will be screwed up, which drastically affects the next 30-40+ years of my life after that. Money money money. I got braces for my teeth, that cost my parents money. Getting my wisdom teeth out costs money. I have minor back issues. Guess what? Chiropractors cost money. College applications cost money. Attending college costs waaaay too much money. I just got added to my parents’ car insurance thing, which increases the amount to pay each month pretty significantly. BEING ON THE INTERNET USES MY PARENTS’ ELECTRICITY, which, you guessed it, costs money. I have a job at an animal hospital/kennel, and no matter how good of a worker I am, I’m never fast enough or perfect enough to escape a condescending comment from the Dr.
My peers understand AP Chemistry, AP Physics, and AP Calculus alot better than I seem to. I, as a whole, am not good enough. And I, as a whole, am costing my parents money.
I’m not even 18 and I am sick of life. Everything is so geared towards failing that I’m afraid to even try. The “grades” competition is outrageous. My generation is doomed to be forever in debt.
*note* I am not looking for religious advice or promises of the afterlife, sorry.
Keep in mind that I can’t “relax” or “take some time off” because then I fall behind my classmates. I will always have that mental guilt of “shouldn’t you be ______ right now?” Even if I tell myself to not let it bother me, it will. Leisure time or indulgences just cost money too, and I can’t even enjoy work because I feel like I’m never doing good enough. I’m just not good enough, that’s what it comes down to.
What is your motivation to keep going in life? Please, I really need some reasons.
Thanks, to most of the replies.
I’m not interested in drugs, thanks.
Also, it isn’t that I’M obsessed with money/material things, it’s that the rest of the world seems to be. I’m shocked at how demanding the world seems to have become. I feel like just a teeny cogwheel in a HUGE machine, but I’m wondering how on earth I’m ever going to get to “my place” when there are so many others, around the world, who are better than me. I acknowledge that I never can or will be all that I wish I were. But I feel like everyone has such a hulking, enormous amount of faith in me that I don’t think I can ever live up to their expectations. What I wouldn’t give to just be enough to satisfy everyone’s hopes for me.
Maybe I am a worrier. Maybe it’s not as bad as it seems (and under the vice-grip pressure of the here-and-now, it seems pretty bad). But I’m still doing not-so-great in school, and application deadlines are still coming.
Thanks (to the majority of those who answered) for your time though.
We all felt that way at your age.
just hit tha blunt one time and see if it dont change your perception on life
how about you dont kill yourself. no one can answer this straight up. no one at all. it has to be you. you have to find yourself. I didnt read all the shit between my answer and the question title because its irrelevent. If you consider doing this. just dont. this is the voice of god.
Yea, that’s exactly how I feel sometimes too. When you ask yourself, “Why live?”, think, “Why not?”. Death is coming towards you all too soon. Take some time out to find the beautiful things in life before it reaches you.
First of all, you’re making things sound a lot worse than what they really are. You’re not going to be spending your whole life working to pay off college, especially if you get a good job…like you’re planing to. Believe me, you will eventually find love, and happiness in your life. You will have the money to live the life you want with your expected job. Keep trying in school and do your best, you don’t need to be at the top to get a good job and make money, from the sound of it you’re up there already. If you have thoughts of suicide please see a specialist. Everyone has problems in life, they are temporary…just hold on to that rope. good luck
“suicide is a PERMANENT solution for a TEMPORARY problem.”
-source unknown
Sounds like you need to redefine “need” You don’t “need” any of those things. If it isn’t worth it to you, don’t do it.
Pretty good song about this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL8w77y48UU
If you’re working that hard and your even close to the top 6 percent in terms of marks you WILL do well in life. As long as you keep going at the rate you’re going, no better. As for the job, you’re gonna end up working for an asshole about 90 percent of the time. When I had a job at 15 and was just starting out, everyone made me feel like shit because I couldn’t learn how to do everything fast. No matter what I did there was allways something I was doing wrong. And it wasn’t even a good job, it was a stupid fast food job. So don’t worry about that. You only need like an 80 average to get into a decent university so it sounds like your parents are putting too much pressure on you.
You are WAY too caught up in material things,money, and what other people think! Did you know that all of those things are not importanat? Not only that, you are a worrier. You need some serious counseling. If it makes you feel any better if you try you can probably get some for free.And, all those things you think people are thinking of you-well, the truth is they are not thinking of you at all. get over yourself and find your back bone.
wow you need to calm down and take a break first. i think you are making things way too complicated, stop stressing yourself. you should do research on some of the colleges you would want to attend and only apply to the top five of your choice. if you are not understanding the work get your peers to tutor you are after school tutoring from your teachers. Apply for financial aid and that can solve a great deal of your school costs and usually your school counselors have fee waivers for application costs. And most importantly DO NOT STRESS yourself because no one is meant to be perfect and you’ll probably do fine in your career and schooling
Sweetie, I know exactly what you’re going through. My daughter is in nursing school and we take out student loans and I help as much as I can financially. I’m divorced and get no help from her father whatsoever. She’s in a small, competitive school and she is under a lot of pressure to do well. Parents sacrifice for their children all the time, they do it willingly because they love you and want you to have a good life. Your generation, as a whole, is under so much pressure, but you need to remember something . . . no one is perfect. No one does everything perfectly all the time. We all make mistakes, but it’s what we learn from those mistakes that count. I always told my kids, just give it your best shot. That’s all anyone can do. You actually do need some down time, even if it’s just an hour or two with your friends, or soaking in a bubble bath listening to music. You need to walk away from all the work for a little while, and go back to it refreshed. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You have a purpose in life, and life is worth living. Someday, as you’re healing someone’s pet and making that pet owner happy, you will look back on this and know that it was all worth it.
Good Luck.
I dont know what world you are living in. I dropped out of High School and I am retired now at 26. You said “I NEED to get into college because I NEED a good medical/veterinary job”. You have been taught wrong. You don’t NEED any of that. I had 22 jobs before I quit working 5 years ago. I was working full time when I was 16. I said on applications I had a high school diploma. Nobody ever asked to see it. I worked for the U.S.P.S., Northrop Grumman, Google, Cisco, and Ebay. Majority of the time it was just in their mail rooms. But it was good money at 19 years old and while everybody else was in college, I was on the computer at home at night and weekends setting up my own businesses. When you get out of college, you are going to work under somebody else. I mean, thats what you are learning in college. How to do work for someone else. While you are in college, theres people your age who didnt go to college who are learning to work for themselves. My motivation to keep going in life is money, which equals happiness because you cant have fun without it and you cant raise a family without it. What I’m saying is, your standards are too high for your lifestyle. If you feel too pressured by life, it’s your way of looking at life that is causing that. You have all these standards (I NEED to go to college. I NEED to do this and I NEED to do that). I don’t know chemistry, physics, or calculus, but I bet I have more options in life than your peers. My businesses on the internet bring in money even if I don’t have a computer. I constantly have income coming in no matter what I am doing. I am living in Thailand right now. I go to the internet cafe a few hours out of the day. The rest of the day I lounge on the beach or do whatever fun things are available. I like partying alot. Moral of the story is, I do what I want to do, and I didnt have all these standards you did. Maybe you need to reevaluate your options and if the stress of what you are doing is too much, take a different route.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euV_nFMRfdw
I don’t think that you really want to go to medical school. you are only working yourself to death because somebody else wants you to be a doctor.
one option:
Take a deep breath and go visit the Air Force recruiter. take a break and do a few years in the airforce as a vet tech. your highschool grades will always be on record. and then you will have the GI bill to cover a ton of your college costs. in your four years you will be able to completely pay off a new car, see some of the world, and have a little fun. a vet tech or a medic in the airforce does not go into combat in iraq or afghanistan. you will not get shot at.
BTW *little secret.* leadership in clubs and activities means more to a college application than AP classes. drop down to the normal classes and join some activities.
It’s very normal to feel overwhelmed about the future, nobody really knows what will happen but there is no point in wanting everything to be perfect, it’s not realistic or really very fun. The idea of life is to make mistakes, learn from them and move on. Money is a big issue but it doesn’t help to worry about it 24/7 it won’t make it appear. Focus on the things that you can control. I suggest you either read or buy the movie the Secret (it’s worth the investment) it will tell you all about the laws of attraction and the metaphysical aspects of life. It will give you power … Good luck. Check out this clip for an idea of the movie
hi,life is full of challenges.those who overcome these challenges is called succeeded in life.pls look around you .you are not disabled in any way.are you?.no .people with critical disabilities face more challenges in their way of life.so pls don’t act like a coward. face the life.challenge it and conquer it.that’s it.good luck
Hello There,
See everyone in their life goes through problems do u think i am happy no i came to US after marriage but since 8 years i went to work in a retail and call centers,do u know how i was in my country i am a Civil Engineer a very good i was earning thousands of Rupees and was very happy but i had a dream to cum US somehow god gave me the way to cum but after comming here my husb said i am not suppose to study more like do any kind of Masters as he thinks i will be more educated than him so he controlled me.also i was having problems with money now i am 36 yrs but now i have decided to do my Masters no matter what happens so pls listen to me i am worst than u at least u have age in from of u as u r very young u can do it .don’t get frustrated,yes it happens but always think that u can do it ,may loose some money don’t worry concentrate one at a time and keep your self free.This is my advise as i am your older so pls conseder this and live for u,once u think u can not yes u CANNOT so be positive and take this challenge ,we came to this word to leave our good foot prints not to take failure.so concentrate on studies and i know u will come up in life..,GOOD LUCK IN YOUR FUTURE..,
Well if you want to be less stressed, all you need to do is learn the words,”Do you want fries with that?” lol
There is much to learn and I know you have your self doubts and judgement of what you percieve other people to think of you. There will always be people better than you and there will always be others who are worse off. I was once told by a college professor is that you will remember about 25% of what you are taught in class. The rest you can either look up or it won’t be important enough for you to remember anyway. You do the best you can in life. It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey and path you take along the way. We are always going to have to pay for something in our life, so you guessed it when you get to retirement age, you are still paying. The trick is not to over spend and rack up credit cards along the way. Learn to be smart and invest in the future. I realize that these days even that seems to be risky business. We are just all going through some financial struggles right now. Look at the things that you do have and focus on how grateful you are. A roof over your head, food to eat, you health, etc…. there will always be people that won’t have what you have either. We need to help one another in this world for the good of man kind. That’s the motivation we need.
Well fight ur own demons , i mean if u thought about it u will find that all these fears are all wrong expectations, i mean u cant worry about 10 or 20 years later coz u cant just predict what’s going to happen,u cant even predict what will happen tomorrow or in an hour
Look i had that feelings for a long time,the solution for this is STOP comparing urself to others,there will be always people better than u there will be always jobs better than yours
But it is unfair that u compare urself to the best of everyone else coz surely u will feel lower coz u cant be better than anyone on earth
And why u worry about money,,,do u have enough money to have breakfast,lunch ,dinner?? if yes than stop worrying,,,,when college time comes u will figure out what to do,life goes on,,
The trick is : whenever u start worrying about things u cannot change,then stop thinking and close the door to these destructive thoughts
U say ur not looking for a religious advice,but unfortunately,God has to be involved ,coz yes the normal society we live in ,say that u have to worry about future ,money and more money that ‘s why most of us live in worry and fear,,,Am not advicing u but u wanted help and i m telling u what helped me and got me through it,it was God
He taught me waht i ve just told u above
i remember in uni i used i was a top 5% student but iwas alaways in fear,i always compared myself to other students and iwas so depressed that i did not enter 2 exams and i was thinking to change the uni,,but when i graduated i found that all was lies.
Look at the good side,,u said that u r competing wioth the top 6% ,,which means that u r a great student,,u r not the first but u r still amongst the best
Ur motivation,,if it is money than u gained nothing it will be like pursuing nothing ,career also not enough to live for coz i doubt that u will find a job where u will be 100% happy and a job which will make u satisfied and stop u from comparing , God?? totally worth it
So the point is,the problem is not that u are lower than others no,the problem is inside u ,ur way of thinking mthe way u see things,,so relax it is nothing outside u so dont worry about about waht to do,,u only need to change the way u see things and only God can do that
Cheer up,,again all the thouights inside u are LIES ,remember that,even if they sound so logic (that’s why they are lies = twisting the truth)
I really feel ur pain coz i tasted it,and i m telling u there is hope and u will be fine,,u will look back to these times and think,ohh thank God i passed these tough times,
Just please dont believe these lies,,
Jesus said: luke 12 :22 to 34
“therefore i tell you,do not worry about your life,what will you eat,or about your body,waht you will wear,life is more than food,and the body is more than clothes”
“who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? since you cannot do this little thing why do you worry about the rest?”
“father knows that you need them and these tbut seek his kingdom and these things will be given to you as well”
Your parents would suffer terribly if they lost you. They love you and want you to be happy.
Seriously, see a counselor. Why not?
Brainstorm.
List your options for today or this hour if that is too much.
Arrange your list in order of easiest fastest least invasive to the most drastic measures.
Try the barely noticeable ones first.
If that does not work move to the next one on the list.
Here is a sample list: Make up your own.
0 = nothing
1=Drink three glasses of water (I’m not kidding)
2=Ask your parent to make you some steak for dinner (Meat helps)
3=List what you need to get done by to get caught up in your studies
3=Outline what you need to get done in your studies
4=List action items that are highest priority
5=Pick one item that is easiest to start
6=Break it down to small bites
6=Set a timer for 15 min
7=Study that subject for 13 min
8=Stretch, do yoga for 2 min
Set timer for 15 min
9=Study that subject another 13 min
10=Get something good to drink for 2 min
11=Study same subject another 13
set timer for 15 min
12=Stretch, do yoga for 2 min
13=Study again for 13 min
14=Put that subject away
15=Pick next item
Set timer for 15 min
More ideas:
list possible study buddies
call possible study buddies
Ask for a tutor
Make appt with tutor
see a counselor at school and don’t tell your parents
Ask your mom to find you a good counselor
Ask your mom to make an appt
go to the appt
commit to continue going (if it is a good fit)
Yes, you may have to work hard all your life to pay for college but I assume you will be doing something meaningful to you. You love animals or you would not be in the field.
And you will have relationships along the way with family, friends, other animal people, and maybe a spouse and children. Outside of faith in a loving God, these things make life worth living for many people.
I hope these are helpful to you. Best wishes
I’m sure you are going to flip out on me for reading this but you know what I did anyway. You know I’m right there beside you. I’ll help you with everything. I know how you feel. You should know that by now. If you really need anything I’ll help. More than likely I have or will have the same issues. You can anticipate that, I’m sure. Just let me know. I’ll help. I will do anything to help my friends.
Hey man you sound bright to me so don’t worry too much just do what you can and it’ll smooth out later on, I promise.
It does seem all a bit overpowering but trust me one day you will reap the fruits of all of your work.
And yeah you are just another “brick in the wall”..
Your message brought back a lot of memories for me! I felt VERY similar when I was a senior in school. So many pressures, demands and expectations, combined with a huge amount of uncertainty. Not to mention the change in hormones! My mom and I got into some huge fights and I felt that she just didn’t understand what I was going through. You are right, it does seem unbearable. I thought of doing the same thing. Something stopped me. I thought of how final it would be…of all that I would be missing out on….of the pain I would cause my family. So I thought, if I don’t go through with it, then each day is a bonus, a day I wouldn’t have had if I had gone through with it. I started to approach each day without the stress and expectations that I was before. Fast forward many, many years later…I earned a bachelor’s degree, an M.Ed. and am very happy staying at home and raising my three young boys. I went to a state college and university. I had a good friend pressuring me to go to a more expensive university. She did, I didn’t. We ended up doing the same thing and earning the same amount of money! So this is a long winded way of saying, I truly feel for you, and hope that you will choose to take each day as it comes. Know that there will be some failures along the way, but everyone has them. I sincerely wish you the best and hope, hope, hope you’ll stay with us!!!